Working on My Fitness

Last night I went to the gym for the first time in, ohhhh, about eight months.

2008 fitness level = FAIL.

I thought it was time I paid my dear friend the Elliptical a visit, considering the fact that when I was playing hockey in Montreal, the main reason my team made me goalie was because I was out of breath within about three minutes.

Apparently not running for the ball and letting the opposing team by while wheezing makes some people on your team angry.

Anyway, the gym was fine. I did a SUPER short workout of thirty minutes. I didn't have a heart attack so I felt that all in all the Elliptical and I had a nice reunion.

When I went back to the change room, some chick was standing by the locker I had used and there was a note taped to it. Apparently management wanted to see me.

My heart immediately started to pound, because for some unexplainable reason my first thought was that I'm was trouble and that the gym police were going to arrest me.

Does this make me slightly crazy?

Yes. Yes it does.

The chick sees that I'm heading to the locker and tells me that she left her wallet on the top shelf and asks if I had seen it. I had put my clothes up there because, well, that was where I had decided to put them. So I hadn't seen anything, but checked for her because I am an amazing person and thinking that your wallet has been stolen sucks.

It was there. Good news for her, but I could immediately tell by the look on her face that she thought I was pretending not to have seen it.

That just pissed me off.

Now, I don't know if all of you know, but I am

short

. Lockers are tall. I lost a pair of socks back there once and had to climb the damn thing just to get them back. There was no way I would have seen it, and it was far enough back there that I didn't feel it when I put my clothes there.

Then she was all, "Well, let me check to make sure that nothings missing."

Maybe it was PMS, maybe it was the dirty look she was giving me. Who can really say? All I know is, I kinda wanted to punch her in the face.

Really. I WANTED something to be missing at this point, as mean as that sounds. That way, I could have told her to let management look through my things. Then she would have felt stupid when I didn't have any of her crap, management would have had to give me something for making me feel like a criminal and then I could have called her an IDIOT for putting her wallet there in the first place!

Don't hassle me when you're the one who left it there for three hours. Anyone could have taken something genius!

Luckily I didn't have to get all up in her space, and when she realized everything was there, she kinda slunk away and I am happy that I will never have to see her again.

Unless she's using my Elliptical when I want it.

Then things might get really nasty.